Wednesday, June 11, 2008


For quite a while, I've been throwing the word "idiot" around. Jen and I throw it back and forth, and it's almost always a term of endearment. I've never in anger, seriously called anyone an idiot. For that, it's just not strong enough.

It's not that I enjoy swearing. Sometimes I just find that nothing works quite like a well thought out, perfectly timed, appropriately placed curse. I don't just mean the standards (although they work quite well).

It occurred to me today that recently I've taken to referring to the true morons I come across in life as douchebags. That's right kids, this golden nugget from my high school days has slowly crept back into my vocabulary.

Here's a short list of the people who've had this muttered towards them recently: the guy who cut me off on my way to work yesterday, the owner of the restaurant we ate at this evening, my MIL's "significant" other. I even told my good friend Bubba that he had reached new levels of "douchebaggery" (this one I didn't actually mean).

And I'm starting to hear it everywhere. The Bob & Tom Show and fellow blogger Backpacking Dad have put this word to good use.

What is it about that word that is just so... right for certain circumstances? I'm not sure I'll ever know why it has that particular appeal, but I can't see phasing it out anytime soon.

So, as I'm always keen to broaden my horizons: What is your favorite swear word? C'mon, you can tell me.


jen said...

I'm telling you--my all-time favorite thanks to Christopher More and A Dirty Job is f**ktard. Jackass and asswipe come in tied for second I think. By the way, I would expect no less from Swanny than to turn a noun (douchebag) into an adjective (douchebaggery). That's just f**ktarded.

The Mrs. said...

I'm a bit more mild, but I'm the queen of "crap". Don't get me wrong, I can throw some non-lady like language out there with the best of 'em when and if appropriate, but having kids has definitely cooled the vocab down drastically. Now I focus my energy on turning standard curse words into ALMOST curse words (i.e., Cheese and Rice! Or Son of Biscuit!).

My all time favorite when someone's being a total horse's ass is to call them a "buttlicker" or "buttmunch". I think it's me channeling the junior high years as well. It's right up there with "Smooth move, Exlax."

zztopdog said...

Oooo, I always loved "smooth move exlax!" A very emfatic "Jesus Christ" comes out pretty often. But my current (for months, years) is "dumbf**k!" It just rolls out without my even thinking about it! I'm not proud of it, but I guess I could be saying worse....

Rikki said...

Starchy and I swear in code. We say DB instead of douchebag and STFU for Shut The F**k Up (if we are really mad we will use GDSOB, you can figure that out on your own). This way we can swear at each other and the kids have no clue.

One of my friends used to bust out "Son River Ditch" and "Mother Trucker Sister Brother". Those were the weirdest non-swear words I have ever come across.

pseudored2 said...

I use moron alot and philistine because people often do not know if I just insulted them. I have heard DB alot lately as well, I think it is making a comeback, but that is one word i really dislike, like panties.